discouraged times ten....

this is always my initial reaction when trouble comes along....

So today I got really discouraging news...this news has led me to actively realize that I may not finish my masters at Regent. Even though I have so much time and money invested in it, the reality is that it may not work out. While my first reaction was tears, anger, and self-loathing at making bad choices...I realized I was being silly. There is a time for all of that, but that needs to be a short time.


I think it makes it so hard to accept because I felt like I prayer and waited so long & hard to God to lead me  to Regent. I was excited to be going to another Christian school, where I thought I'd be dealing with people who cared about me as a student and sister in Christ. I guess I shouldn't assume things so much, right?

While I am still sad and a bit mad, I plan on trusting God. Nothing is better when you feel so hopeless and a verse pops in your messed emotional head. Today mine was Psalm 42:5, Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him. So now I wait, proactively of course. I haven't sent my reply messages yet, because well I don't want to do it while I'm angry and I want to pray about the situation and reply while I make sense and am being rational. So now I look like this...a girl just waiting, praying, hoping, and trying to keep the dark thoughts out and just purely trust in God...

just waiting in hope and faith...