sunny days

yesterday I went to the movies. We had to leave for a possible gas leak. no leak. but you know what I found free food and drinks and movie passes! That was my short story about yesterday.

Today I woke up and went to the bank. It's so nice outside, I wish I had a hammock. It's so sunny it is just hammock weather.

The king and I are going to buy some groceries, so we'll stop tempting each other (well me tempting her) to go out to eat or get Chinese Food. Yes, for some reason I don't really see getting Chinese food as the same thing of going out to eat, weird I know, but true story.


I haven't updated on here in a long time. It wasn't because life was shitty, I was just thinking life was shitty and was being depressed. It happens, so sue me. Trying to stay positive because good things are happening.

Like I know it's kinda silly and vain, but I'M SO EXCITED because I was one of the nominees for Teacher of the Year. I feel like throwing myself a special dinner :) because it's just a huge huge deal for me and it just makes me sad (well maybe a little more than sad) that not to many other people are to excited about this fact. I know it's like a vanity award but I'm still so surprised and happy about it and I don't even care if I win or not. I know Ms. Dawn asked a few people to vote for me but I didn't think they would or I would be the top four people, just saying it's usually a popularity contest and I'm not exactly super popular because I go to work to work not to gossip, ha.

Okay, need to go prepare for shopping, hopefully it won't be that long.

It's so hard to love people when they are selfish, ungrateful, and just horrible... Don't worry I know I also have these flaws. Just makes life and relationships really tough. Sometimes you sacrifice and give so much to people and they could give to shits about you, not an exciting thing...

breaking free

So I've been doing Beth Moore's breaking free devotional and it has been mind-blowing and very overwhelming. We go through life not even realizing all of the things that are keeping us in bondage. Lately I've really been thinking about my family and my past. There's a lot of bad things and a lot of heart break, a lot. But it does not define me, because God is in control, I need live, eat, sleep, and breathe that.

We've also been talking about how in our families we need to do things out of LOVE, not LOYALTY. This has hit me so hard and knocked me to the ground and then some. So many times I don't say anything or support something I really don't approve of, and I used to think I was doing this out of love. Now I realize it was because I was loyal to the person and wanted to show support and not lose that loyalty. But love is so much more important and true. Yes, people will be mad but I'll have peace and God will have control.

There is so much more I could blog about. I really wish Beth Moore was my mom...really do. Lately I've realized the importance of praying for my future children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. Praying that they become good Godly people who experience true joy and passion in life. I look at my parents and how sad and self serving their lives are and it just breaks my heart. I don't want that for me. And I don't want that for my future family members. I want generations of people who love God and serve others with that same love! Amazing things have been happening in my heart lately and it is the hardest thing I think I've ever been through mentally and emotionally and it is so worth it, times ten!

So choose your battles wisely fall in line....

I honestly can not believe that it is March. unbelievable. really.

Lately I've felt so unbalanced. I guess we all want it all and it's so freaking hard. Trying to balance work, church, grad school, household, family, and friends...it's just becoming to much...to overwhelming and to devastating when I let myself down. I'm trying to find peace in the thought that I will never let God down, I know it in my heart, just not my dumb big head.... sigh

home

I really enjoyed being home :) It's refreshing to be surrounded by people who love you know matter what and do everything they can to show it and support you. I needed some of that this weekend :) Of course there was the drama, which always comes along with being home, but I guess that will never change.

Okay, finishing my quiz then watching lots and lots of tv

Honestly some days I really can't stand myself. This isn't a new revelation, it just seems that lately those days are popping up more and more. It's not one thing it's just everything how I look, how I talk, things I do, things I don't do, how I treat others, how I'm being treated, how I walk, everything and anything. I just have been down lately and just constantly disappointed with me. I wish this was an easy thing I could just get over in a few days, but realistically it's not at all, not even close. I feel like I'm just waiting around for something to help and make everything click and be better again. I know this sounds pretty stupid, but I honestly don't know what else to do, I'm just stuck. stuck, stuck, stuck. I hope you be unstuck soon, stay tuned, who knows, anything is possible ya know.

fruitful

I've been trying very hard lately to be fruitful, notice I've been trying. This also means I have been failing a lot...That's life though I guess, you fall and ask God to help pick yourself up.

Dana's baby shower is today!! Yikes, I can't believe it's here already, after a lot of time, work, blood, sweat, and tears...it is here! I'm nervous, but I think it will be pretty awesome!

Okay, time to get ready for church, sitting downstairs in a towel, isn't contributing to this cause at all.

red red wine

So papers have always been my downfall in life. I'll read, make a graph, collect data, but ask my to write papers and I will wait to the very last minute to get it done. It must be in my DNA, I just either need to be in the right mood to write a paper or I need to do it right before it is due, at the last minute possible. crazy, stupid, I know. I've tired I have issues, what can I say. Sunday school and church was really really good today:) really. Okay, off to watch the new Family Guy and try to take some notes for my papers. woot!

p.s. I still really love my car!

lazy Saturday

Yikes, it's Saturday and this week is over. It's been a really long week at work, but I feel like I've been pretty lazy at home all week, which is good, when papers are due on Mondays... Nothing to excited going on and I am still head over heels in love with my sexy Cube, no surprise there though! I'm almost finished with my kid's state assessment, so that feel amazing!! Now I need to start back on 2 IEPs.

Lately, I've been feeling a little home sick. Which is weird for me. I mean I love my family to death but lately I've really missed just hanging out with my brothers and grandparents. Makes me sad to think about it so I shall right no more :)

In other happy news, I'm 9 out of 24 books in for my New Years Resolution. Yes, this adds to my being lazy at home section of my life. Speaking of that I need to go and start/finish my 2011 calendar I was making myself, because well January is almost over...

the price is right

Hey, look, it's my new car!! Well it will be tomorrow once I go and sign the papers and everything works out okay. I'm really excited, I never thought I'd be the type to fall in love with a car, but guilty! It started about a month ago when I was just browsing cars online and I was like oh I wanna look inside these ugly toaster cars! Then I looked at them closely and then I started drooling....I dunno I guess I love it because it's quirky and has personality. okay. I need to get back to working on my project, especially since I wanna take a break and eat dinner at sometime :)